Ostentatious Sophism

I have been told many times that the cause of my solitude is that I am not willing to “play the game.”  ’The game,’ apparently, is this highly ridiculous form of modern courtship wherein one person acts disinterested in the other person so as to get their attention and interest.  First of all, I have a hard time trusting a system as paradoxical as this one.  Second of all, I dislike viewing courtship as a simple game.  For someone like myself, love is not a game.  I believe I was created to love someone.  In my eyes, waking up in the morning and breathing is a choice that we all make.  My motivation for making that choice is the possibility of love.  If the devine (whomever you believe it to be) were to tell me that, starting tomorrow, I will never have a chance of falling in love again I would end my life in an instant.  The value of this human life is directly relational to it’s ability to fall in love with another.  Thus, when someone devalues love into something as trivial as a mere game, I take offense.  It is like telling me that my life is nothing more then a game that can be won or lost, but there is still going to be a party in the end.  I refuse to court in this way.

I will find someone that feels the same as I.  This person will not be interested in the club-like flirting, nor the tests of devotion that women sometimes put men through.  They will be more interested in befriending me and seeing if I can bring a smile to their face.  They will feel elation over the realization that I am the first person that they want to talk to when they wake up in the morning.  Most importantly, they will feel no greater satisfaction then when walking down the street holding my hand.  I end with a quote that encompasses my view of love better then any one prior:

“Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and you find out you still care for that person”

One of my friends posted this on Twitter and I completely agree.  I feel like this year has been a stinking pool of stale water.  Then, right when I think things are going to change, they change for the worse.  I am drowning in a pool of my own failures.  I cannot even manage to get help for these feelings because I fail so completely.  Moreover, I am not even happy with the person that I am.  I am not happy with the person that I have built myself to be.  I no longer want to be insanely rich, nor do I want to be popular.  I want a career that I enjoy.  I want to have a reason to wake in the morning so I can feel satisfied.  I want to stop feeling like I am waiting for something, and to feel that I belong.  Yes, I want my cake and I want to eat it too.  I currently feel that I am in Reno because it is the wiser choice.  I can afford life here.  I have a better chance of getting work here.  I have already started school here.  However, none of this takes into account whether I am happy or not.  I am on the verge of a huge internal revolution.  I feel that this period of failure is an opportunity to rebuild myself from the ground up.  Why would I want to rebuild myself into exactly the same person that I was before?!  Guy Fox did tell us that a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.  I want to find a way to dance my way into a better me while still having food on the table.  First and foremost, I need to find something worth dancing for…

A cloud.  That is what this is; a cloud.  This cloud starts as a light haze, as if someone burnt some toast.  Gradually this haze darkens and becomes smoke.  As it gets more dense, it begins to get darker.  You lose sight of things around you, and solitude becomes inevitable.  Even the ground below your feet fades away and you find yourself floating in an amorphous blob of grey.  Right before you aclimate to your new environment, this cloud turns into a shadow.  You attempt to run from it, but find that you’re paralyzed.  You watch in horror as the shadow drives forth and engulfs you entirely.  Now, in complete blackness, you can no longer feel your hands and legs.  You realize that you actually can’t feel anything.  You have gone completely numb.  In this numbness you reach a certain solace.  If you cannot feel anything, you cannot feel pain, or anger, or jealousy.  Your emotional vacation is interrupted by an uneasy feeling that this kind of apathy is not normal.  You regain a portion of your wits enough to conclude that this shadow and it’s emptiness are draining you of all things that were once beautiful.  Despite your best intentions and efforts to fight back, the shadow seems to feed off of your fear of it, and grow stronger.  Eventually you resign yourself to this new life, and allow yourself to be taken over by the shadow in your mind.

Ever since I was a kid, I have had a passion for romantic love.  I was enamored with the ideas set forth in all of the classic disney movies portraying boy meeting girl and living happily-ever-after.  Recently I thought I was depressed because of yet another round of unrequited love.  I have danced to that song before, and I know the steps well.  I was feeling all of the usual emotions including the green headed monster of jealousy.  I thought that I was jealous of the men for which ‘she’ cared and pined over.  That made perfect sense to me.  Why shouldn’t I resent the guys that are given the most valued gift of her affection?  Is it wrong of me to think of them as unworthy?  No, no it would not be wrong for me to feel that… if that were actually the case.  Alas, I have discovered the real root of my sorrow and depression.  It is simple loneliness.  I have been unusually down because I am tired of being one half of a pair.  What of the jealously, you may ask?  Well… that is real, but it’s just not directed at the yahoos for which she is drawn.  It is directed at anyone that is desired by another.  When I see two lovers walking hand-in-hand through the mall, I get the feeling.  When I hear about friends meeting up with a potential mate for a night of flirting, I get the feeling.  Hell, when I hear that someone got drunk and had a one night stand, I get the feeling.  These feelings of worthlessness, rage, depression, hatred, solitude, and lament all culminate into a void within my chest.  The feeling reminds me of that imploding soda-can science project.  I feel that if I do not get my mind off of it, my chest will implode and create a black hole in the universe.  Trust me, no one wants that.

So I start to search for solutions.  I know that I am wired to constantly think of myself as one half of a greater whole.  I will never escape this as it is who I am; Gnothi Seauton.  So the only logical solution is to convince myself that the other half of said pair is still out there waiting for chance to bring us together.  While I love the idea of that, there is part of me that thinks it is total bollocks.  I guess the best that I can hope for is to wait out these storms of emotion and enjoy what I can when there are no clouds.  Eventually, the clouds will part for good, and I will be with someone that deserves me.

The following is an article written by an amazing woman named Kelly Davison.  She made a drastic change in her life on the soul reasoning that it felt right to do so.  This kind of Gnothi Seauton is so amazing to me that I had to repost her story (with permission, of course) for all of you to read.  I hope this has as much of an impact on you as it did on me!

(From Kelly Davison’s website)

Why Not Just Move to Greece?
By Kelly Davison

Have you ever wondered if you could possibly bear what you are doing now for another 10 years? How about 20 years?
Have you ever sat down in your cubicle at work and couldn’t bring yourself to turn the computer on to do another day’s work?

Have you ever seen a picture of a place completely foreign to you that seemed a perfect fit?

Have you found a special object whose simple presence and natural beauty encourages you to speak the truth? 

If so, you may have something to gain by reading on. Just relax and let your eyes and soul carry you through this site and small journey into my life, and perhaps, yours. I recommend you print out this site before reading it, turn off your computer, place that special object close to you, and pull out the photo of that far away place. Then go ahead, hold this story in your hands, and dive in.

There are many things that surround us which discourage us from ever truly living the life we would consider the most rewarding. My mission in the next few pages is to tell you what it’s like to shed those things that hold you back. I want to show you how to reach for those daydreams that keep you awake at night. I would like to lead you to a new life, the ideal one for you with which you truly identify. I want to tell you what it’s like to risk everything you have for a life in which nothing is hidden; nothing is out of your reach, or wrong. Can you imagine such an existence for yourself?

My message to you is this: you are not a robot or a loser. You are waiting for yourself to surrender to the things that genuinely make you happy.  Stop waiting. You WILL land on your feet, straight up, and you may even FLOAT! I promise you that you will be scared, but more than scared, you will be incredibly happy and wildly proud. Are you now? Are you so balanced? Are you so open? So comfortable? So ready? Certain? FREE? 

What you will read now is a story of my transformation from one lifestyle to another, and when I say another, I mean way the hell over in “other” land! As you read these episodes think mostly of yourself and perhaps of the many things that we might have in common. You are as much a part of the story as I am. Though I may be in a new place now, I was where you are today. I am sure you can find yourself in this story somewhere! Come with me into my story. I will tell you why and how I turned my life around!

The beginning is always difficult to locate. I will start with the first major mistake I made in my more accountable adult years. I married at 22 years old, five months pregnant, to the boy who’d been in and out of my life for the previous five years. We were as poor as dirt, not that I minded too much. I learned that there is a real connection created with the world when your needs are not so eccentric, a connection I still cherish today. I also learned that people grow and change at different rates and not always in the same direction. I had pushed my husband into a new world and lifestyle. Although, he allowed me to introduce him to it, when I was ready to step out and test my strength in the world, it was obvious he wasn’t. He couldn’t. He had stretched as far as he was willing to go. 

There were other issues leading to the dissolution of our marriage. He used marijuana and defended it emphatically. I didn’t. His new projects always lay unfinished and his revolving employment and lack of punctuality were tiring. Still, during the marriage, I defended all of this. I tried skillfully to help others see “our” vision and patch up any inconveniences “we” caused.

I was not comfortable. These were not my standards. I was embarrassed. Things weren’t able to progress in the right direction, or any direction, for that matter. I wanted to find a place that I could grow instead of putting so much effort into cleaning up our messes. This was my first turning point. I realized that only I had the dominion over my life. I could and should change things. I could go where I belonged. So, two years after I made that first mistake, I fixed it.

During the next three and a half years, I discovered more secrets that helped me get to where I am today. At the time of the divorce, my daughter was two years old. I was forced to work full-time to support our necessities. Without a college degree, the only “decent” jobs I could find that yielded enough money were in sales. I sold everything: cars, real estate, beverages, and education. With all the pressure and competition, however, it wasn’t long before I started not answering my phone and retreating from the world in a confound depression. Of course, I always defended my jobs to my family and friends. It was good money and I got to shake a lot of hands, not to mention the opportunities! Oh boy, the endless money making opportunities that were so abundant and so completely WRONG for me. I spiraled further down, heavy with self-criticism, shame, emptiness, and endless questions. Why? Was this how it had to be? Are ANY of my true dreams PRACTICAL enough to follow? No one seemed to get it! My colleagues were like robots to me. I missed my friends, but I was too lost to try and share how I was feeling. Worse yet, I was self-destructive. Why? I don’t know exactly. Maybe it was the dissatisfaction I had from all areas of my life that found another way to express itself. I was unimpressed and disgusted with everything around me including myself. There are so many things to do with one’s life. Why did I feel so stuck? Have you felt this way? Do you now?

I began to read a million self-help type books. Today’s the Day, Feeling Good, The Meaning of Life, God on a Harley, to name a few, and even Sylvia Brown’s books on astrology. They helped for a while. I liked them. Then I decided to make another change.

I started running regularly to release the stress and pressure I had bottled up. I found a new job with a university and started taking night classes to finish the degree I had started prior to my pregnancy. I was determined to graduate, not in the two years it would have normally taken me, but in one! The whole time I kept a few special things around me in my little gray cubicle at work: a picture of a Greek island, a small ceramic Greek boat, and photos of my daughter. These are the things that drew me to truth when I looked at them. I saw in them the harmony that I longed for. 

I acquired a nice car, home, and job. Unfortunately, they were not as fulfilling as society promised. In fact, I was still miserable and so was my daughter, Lucy. I had no time to invest in our relationship. My daughter was hooked on cartoons and junk food.

She was traveling from relative to relative to help me manage my time between long workdays and night school. I would interrupt the ritual of passing her around for a couple of nights just to maintain “motherhood” status. I was always exhausted and my daughter was confused. 

After graduation, I took a long awaited vacation to Greece. I had spent the last 3 years teaching myself Greek and dreaming about this trip. It seemed I had always been waiting for the best time to do go there. It finally came! When I arrived in Athens, I felt this unleashing energy and overwhelming appreciation for life. I smiled all day at everyone “just because”. My time in Greece flowed through all of my senses; I lived, for a brief time, the life I had always coveted!

When I came back, nothing was the same. You don’t know how many times I heard, “Good thing you went! That was a once in a lifetime trip!” Those comments bothered me. I would stare at them blankly and try to think of all the reasons they called it “once in a lifetime”. They either didn’t know me very well or assumed too much. I knew then what I had to do. I returned to work and took my pictures of Greece off my blinding, gray cubicle walls. I took the photos of my daughter and my little boat. I walked over to my boss and shook her hand. I quit that day. I had decided to move to Greece.

The day we sold all of our belongings, I realized how little they actually meant to me. Moving to Greece was all I’d ever wanted. Since my adolescence, I had read books on its history, participated in local Greek festivals, made Greek friends, and studied the language. I was drawn to the lifestyle and environment. I saw strength, wit, intellect, simplicity, pride, and unrivaled beauty in all I discovered about Greece and the Greeks.

The things I had acquired to create a “normal” life and status in the U.S. were utterly worthless to me. Ridding myself of them was the most freeing and self-rewarding thing I’ve ever done! Thirty days later, with passports in hand, I took my daughter out of her first grade class and we got on a plane with four suitcases to our name. It was strange to leave all I’d accomplished in the U.S., especially after all that hard work and turmoil we had gone through together to gain the things I was pressured to have. I was putting my daughter and myself at risk again, back on the starting line again, and in a new country. But, as I tightened our seatbelts, I looked at my daughter, and the harmony was there. This time, although I was scared and unsure of where I was going exactly, I knew I was going in the right direction!

Do you feel you are going the right direction for you? Can you ever manage to catch up to that dream you have been so busy trying to follow?

We came to Athens and stayed at the only hotel I could remember. My daughter and I explored the city day and night on foot. It was fantastic! I searched the classifieds for an apartment and scouted the area for elementary schools. After one month, Lucy was enrolled in a Greek public school and we had rented a quaint and cheery apartment in the nearby neighborhood. 

Still, managing our new life wasn’t always easy. I remember one day that we were taking the bus home from the supermarket. We clumsily loaded on nine bags of heavy groceries. There were no seats available. We found a place to hang on and the bus jerked into gear. I wondered at that moment if it was smart in giving up everything we had in America. But then something reassured me that I had done the right thing. Perhaps, it was the way my daughter was still smiling at me and how suddenly my fingers didn’t seem to mind the heaviness of the bags. I watched the city float by, squeezed between a busload of strangers of all shapes, sizes, and smells, and I was so proud to be here!

It took four more months to find the “right” job, but I did! I took a position with the University of La Verne, Athens Campus. I am now a counselor for American exchange students wishing to come for part or their entire educational career in Greece. Provided with a computer, I work out of my home, networking with universities in America and connecting them to educational opportunities at ULV, Athens.

I also found a local shop that needed some extra help and started working there a few days a week just to keep things fun. The shop is called Εγιρα which translates roughly into “new beginnings.” How appropriate! The shop is filled with unique treasures from all over the world; it enchants me just to be around them. Co-owners, Marie Louise and Stephen Turvey, share with us pieces that are made with traditional methods and a contemporary style. There is purity and elegance in every one. I happened to meet Marie Louise through a mutual friend and ended up getting to know an amazing woman who is an inspiration to those of us with a passion and respect for life. I found myself not only working in a wonderful shop, but getting to know a new role model as well.

Today, this is where I am. I live the life I daydreamed about everyday in my old cubicle. I walk the streets that excite me. I spend all the time I wish with my daughter. I say good morning to those I pass and make friends easily with my neighbors. The small apartment is cozier than ever and MUCH easier to clean! I have found a suitable career and have again been inspired by others. Look, I had no relationship with Greece outside of my own feeling of connection with it. I had no relatives, property, or history tying me to it. I just knew it was where my soul was most at peace and because of that I knew I couldn’t fail. Sure, I was scared, but once I took the first step, the courage seemed to come naturally and then the rest of the journey seemed to take on a life of its own.

I encourage you to find your way to the ideal life for yourself, one that you CAN live with. Surround yourself with the things that move you and represent you honestly. Find the courage to express yourself and take the path that warms you. There are so many opportunities and resources out there to start searching or reaching for this very day. Take advantage of them! Doing it feels 10 times better than talking about it! You’ll see!

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” —Goethe

I hope that this has been powerful and moving for you.  This may be the beginning of the rest of my life!

Do you remember what life was like when you were younger?  Time was measured by passing Summer days full of relationships, family visits, vacations, and the sweet beauty of life.  Sometimes I wonder where that method of keeping time went.  It was sssooo nice to be able to recall memories from ‘the summer before last’ without a need to reference a month or year.  This carefree mindset allowed us to truly live in the moment without a worry for the future or the past.  When the bell rang on the last day of school, nothing else mattered save getting out of that classroom and living your life.  We were afforded the freedom so often yearned for by thousands of people throughout the world.  No one bothered to think of the past because school was out and its time had passed.  No one dared glance an eye into the future as that would mean accepting that the Summer would end and classes would begin again.  So we were left with the glorious treasure that was the here and now.  When you were running through the sprinklers in your front yard, you barely knew how you were going to spend the remainder of your evening, let alone the rest of your life, and this is the definition of true happiness.

Unfortunately, many of us have lost this wonderful gift of freedom.  Summers no longer have their illustrious grander, and instead have been replaced with the hectic rat race.  By the time Junior year of High School comes around, we are all barraged with ‘advice’ about planning the rest of our lives.  Everyone is told to get good little grades, so they can get into a good little school, so they can get a good little job, so they can raise a good little family, and eventually retire in a good little RV.  However somewhere along the way, Summers get lost in the shuffle.  No one cares that the weather has warmed, and the grass is green, because the work still has to get done.  For most, a Monday in the Summer sucks equally as much as one in the Winter.  At this point you can no longer consider them Summers, they are just warmer weeks of the year.  The ideal that IS Summer is almost dead.

Like most things that are fading away into the distance, I can still remember my last Summer.  It involved little to no work, sunny days at the park with someone I loved, lazy afternoon sex in an air conditioned house, and more lemonade and iced tea then I knew what to do with.  Here’s a challenge: try to remember your last Summer and post it in the comments below.

Now, I am not advocating a complete loss of responsibility and control, but we need to remember to celebrate the simple idea of not caring about the future.  Everyone should take next Summer to inhale deeply and calm themselves.  We should use this Summer to remember that life is not about climbing to the top of the ladder as quickly as possible, but it is about enjoying the view on the way up.  We need to start measuring our life by Summers of fun and freedom instead of measuring it by the money in the bank, or the property value of our home.  Mainly we need to start living our lives a little bit more like we did when we were kids.  I think we will all smile, a little more.

Intimacy is a funny thing.  When someone mentions this word, most people immediately think of sex.  However, intimacy can come in many other forms.  It could be a soft nuzzle on the nap of your neck right before a welcome home kiss.  It could be a long embrace after touching down from a far away flight.  It could be as simple as a finger slowly wiping away the tear of a troubled friend.  Among all of these things, one of my favorite forms of intimacy is sleeping with someone.  No, I do not mean sex (you know your mind went there!).  I mean the unadulterated act of sleeping next to another person.  If you think about it, this has to be one of the most intimate things that two people can share; maybe even more so than sex.  It is the time of your day when you are the most vulnerable.  You are basically telling the other person that you trust them enough to put down all of your guards for one evening and allow them to see you in one of your most naked forms.  Most people hate being seen in the morning.  We usually have bad breath, messed-up hair, and crusty stuff around our eyes.  Despite that, when you sleep with someone you are trusting them enough to see you in that state, this simple act speaks volumes.

Besides all of the trust issues involved, there is also the physical part of it.  The idea of holding someone in your arms, or feeling them breathing next to you, connects you to that person on a very deep level.  The immediate joy that is felt when you wake up and you can feel their body heat radiating from the other side of the bed is indescribable.

Yes, sex is often thought of as the ultimate way of sharing yourself with another human, but i believe that this logic is flawed.  In my personal experience, I have had sex that was little more then assisted masturbation.  However, I have never woken up with someone with there being even the slightest hint of Joie de vivre.

With that I bid you all goodnight.  It is my wish that you all get to enjoy this amazing closeness with someone often.

After throughly exhausting my local solutions to the unemployment problem, I began thinking about revisiting the concept of joining the Army National Guard.  It seems perfect; it would satiate my rampant wanderlust, provide me with a much needed sense of belonging, and teach me some awesome survival skills along the way.  However, while studying all of the different options available to me, I have come to the conclusion that the Military discriminates against those with asthma.  According to section E1.9 of the standards of medical fitness:

E1.9 LUNGS, CHEST WALL,PLEURA, AND MEDIASTINUM
E1.9.1 Current abnormal elevation of the diaphragm (either side) is disqualifying. Any nonspecific abnormal findings on radiological and other examination of body structure, such as lung field (793.1), or other thoracic or abdominal organ (793.3) is disqualifying.
E1.9.2. Current abscess of the lung or mediastinum (513) is disqualifying.
E1.9.3. Current or history of acute infectious processes of the lung, including but not limited to viral pneumonia (480), pneumococcal pneumonia (481), bacterial pneumonia (482), pneumonia other specified (483), pneumonia infectious disease specified elsewhere (484), bronchopneumonia organism unspecified (485), pneumonia organism unspecified (486), are disqualifying until cured.
E1.9.4. Asthma (493), including reactive airway disease, exercise-induced bronchospasm or asthmatic bronchitis, reliably diagnosed and symptomatic after the 13th birthday is disqualifying. Reliable diagnostic criteria may include may include any of the following elements: Substantiated history of cough, wheeze, chest tightness and/or dyspnea which persists or recurs over a prolonged period of time, generally more than 12 months.

At first I thought that this was reasonable.  I thought, “this is the U.S. Military for God’s sake, they can’t have someone wheezing up a storm durning basic!”  But the more I thought about it, the less that made sense.  They have people with vision impairments, right?  How to those people serve in the military?  Well, they have glasses, of course!  They are allowed to use a man made device to overcome their genetic shortcomings.  Well, that’s not a problem for an asthmatic like myself, I have my own man made device; an inhaler.  It’s far more compact then a pair of glasses.  It’s also less fragile.  I could bring a few of them with me durning a deployment as back-up.  I am unable to see the difference between my inhaler and someone’s glasses.  So that naturally leads me to the conclusion that the Armed Forces are discriminating against my kind.  In a world filled with today’s technology, there is no reason that something as innocuous as asthma should keep me from serving my country.

Many of you don’t know this, but I have always wanted to join the military.  In fact, I almost did during my sophomore year of high school.  Now that I am revisiting the idea, I have to be prepared.  I will have to subject myself to physical tests of endurance in order to train myself out of my asthma.

What really kills me about all of this is that, for the first time in my life, I honestly feel offended about something.  I feel as if someone is telling me that I am not even allowed to attempt my dreams, just because of the way I was born.  I do not like this feeling, and I refuse to stand for it.

[UPDATE: I will start posting comments below that people have made on other sites like facebook and twitter.  If you wish to chime in, please do so.  I love open discussions!]

So I am drunk (this will have to be the disclaimer as I am too drunk to type all of the “I am not to be held accountable for anything I say” shit).  I went out this evening with two amazing people, and I am attracted to both of them.  I know that they only see me as friends, and I know that I cannot expect them to change to anything more, but I still feel that I am getting the short end of the stick.

I care for both of these women, and I want only the best for them.  Yes it’s true that I feel sexually attracted to both of them, but that is not why I am depressed.  Let’s say that I was invited back by “Seattle”.  I would not have been depressed if they said that they really liked me (as more then a friend), but they did not want to have sex; they just wanted to sleep next to me and wake up in my arms.  I would have been fine with this.  I know that my friend Ben is currently calling me a pussy, but that is besides the point.  I really just yearn to be wanted; not just sexually, but emotionally.  I want someone to have the urge to sleep in my arms and feel safe.  I want to be invited back to someone’s bed just so we can sleep peacefully in one another’s arms.  Is this too much to ask?!

So I will not allow this post to continue forever, but I hope that everyone out there understands what it is that I am looking for.  I just wish that the people that I liked would see it too.  Night all…

BEGIN SCENE

FADE IN:

INT. CAB OF A PICK-UP TRUCK - NIGHT

JS and KC are driving to the ROLLER KINGDOM for adults night.  We pick-up in the middle of a conversation.

JS

So you have a crush on your private investigator?!

KC

Yeah, I think so…

JS

Have you told her yet?

KC

Not really.  The only time we talk it’s about the accident. (Pauses) Which reminds me!  She wants you to call her tonight so she can close the investigation by tomorrow.

JS

Tonight?!  It almost seven-o-clock at night, I’m sure she’s not in the office THIS late.

KC

(Takes cell phone from pocket)

Oh no, it’s cool.  She gave me her cell number so I could reach her anytime.

KC dials the number and hands the phone to JS.

JS

(Playfully, while the phone is ringing)

Ooooh, her private cell phone!  You two are practically married!

KC

(Nervously)

Shut-up, she could pick up any…

JS

(Turning her attention to the call)

Hello, is this MS?  My name is JS, I am a friend of KC’s and he told me that you wanted me to call and give a statement of my account of his accident.

CUT TO:

INT. MS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

MS

(In response to JS’s call)

Oh, yes, of course.  How are you?

JS’s response can be heard only as mumbles coming from the phone.

MS

I’m well, thank you for asking.  I noticed that you are calling from KC’s phone is he there with you, ‘cause if this is too much of an inconvenience, we can always do it tomorrow?

CUT TO:

INT. CAB OF A PICK-UP TRUCK - NIGHT

JS

Oh, no, it’s not too much trouble. KC and I are just meeting some friends at the Roller Kingdom for adults night.  Besides, KC seems pretty adamant that we get this taken care of sooner rather then later.

(Shoots sly look at KC as the camera pans around on him to show his ‘I am not amused’ facial response)

CUT TO:

INT. MS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

MS

(While smiling)

Yeah, he did strike me as a ‘getting-things-done’ kinda guy. Anyway, I really only have one question for you, so it should be rather quick.  I’m going to record your statement, is that ok?

(Mumbled acknowledgement)

Perfect, I am going to start the recorder, then ask for your permission again before we begin, sound good?

(Another mumbled agreement)

Great.

MS reaches across her bed and clicks the record button on a nearby machine.  The beep can be heard on the phone.

MS

JS, do I have your permission to record the following statement?

(Yet another mumbled agreement)

Thank-you.  Please describe, in detail, what you saw the day of KC’s accident.

The mumbling of JS telling her side of the story can be heard as MS begins to scribble something down in her notebook.  As the camera zooms in, we can see that she is actually writing KC’s name down all over the page, and circling it with hearts.

MS

(Sporadically)

Uh-hu.  Yep.  Ok.  Keep going.  I see.  Sure, Sure.  Wow.

After a period, the mumbling stops and MS presses the stop button on the recorder.

MS

Well, thank you very much for that JS, I am sure it will be a big help to KC should we need it.  Is there a way that I can speak with KC?

CUT TO:

INT. CAB OF A PICK-UP TRUCK - NIGHT

JS

Of course, here he is.  Have a great night!

(at KC while handing the phone to him)

She wants to talk to you.

KC

Hello?

SPLITSCREEN - NIGHT

On the LEFT, KC in the pick-up on the phone looking nervous.

On the RIGHT, MS on her bed excitedly chewing on the end of a pen.

MS

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that that was the last thing I needed, your case should be finished and in the hands of your insurance company by tomorrow.

KC

Wow, that was fast (disappointedly). I guess this means we’re done then, huh?

MS

(Cautiously)

Yyyeeesss….?  Unless there was something else (hopefully)?

KC

Well… (Pauses for a moment as he musters the necessary courage)  What are you doing tonight?

MS

I was actually just gonna type up my notes (Camera zooms in on her romantic doodles) and then go to bed.  Why?

KC

I was just wondering if you’d like to join us at the roller rink. Seeing as the case is finished, it wouldn’t be a conflict of interests right?

MS

Well, (pauses) no, but I really should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

KC

(Trying to conceal his sadness)

Ok, well, if you change your mind, the rink opens at seven-thirty and we’ll be there until closing at nine-thirty.

MS

Alright, I’ll think about it. Have a great night!

KC

I will, you too!

MS hangs up phone

END SPLIT SCREEN

INT. CAB OF A PICK-UP TRUCK - NIGHT

JS

I take it she’s not coming?

KC

(Disappointedly)

No, she said she needed to get some sleep for her day tomorrow.

JS

(After a sympathetic pause)

Well, c’mon, the rink opens in 10 minutes and I need to get my skates out of the back.

KC

Alright…

CUT TO:

INT. MS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

MS is seen typing on her computer while occasionally stealing glances at her skates.  She lets out a heavy sigh of frustration before pausing.  She then closes the lid of her laptop, grabs her skates, and runs to get ready for a night at the roller rink; all while excitedly smiling.

CUT TO:

INT. 80’S STYLE ROLLER RINK WITH NEON AND BLACK LIGHTS - NIGHT

KC is seen leaving the floor to go and sulk on a bench during the upcoming couples skate.  Colbie Collet’s “Bubbly” starts playing as MS skates up to the sulking KC.

MS

Hi

KC

(Looks up in shock)

Hi…

MS

(Holds out her hand)

Care to skate?

KC stands up and takes her hand.  They head out to the floor, and as the camera swirls around them, everyone else on the floor disappears, and they are the only ones skating.  They stare into each others eyes as the lyrics of the song speak for the scene.  This continues for the remainder of the song.

CUT TO:

INT. DISTANT ROLLER RINK FOOD COURT - NIGHT

KC’s friends are standing in a semi circle talking about the budding romance between KC and MS.  We continue to watch KC and MS flirt playfully from the POV of his friends as they comment.

PM

Those two are really cute together.

BM

Yeah, lets hope KC can close this time.

AM

What do you mean?

BM

Well, KC has a habit of treating the women he likes sssooo well that they stop thinking of him as a romantic interest and start thinking of him as only a friend.

AM

Aaahhh, that is a problem.  How many women has this happened with?

PM

Everyone that he has been interested in for the past 4 years.

AM

Wow… (Long pause)  Should we say a prayer or something?

BM

Prayers won’t help.  Nope, the only thing KC needs now is to miraculously grow a pair.

KC waves for his friends to join them, and they immediately put on a fake smile and begin to skate over.

CROSSFADE TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE ROLLER RINK - NIGHT

Everyone piles out of the roller rink slightly out of breath, but obviously enjoying themselves.  The camera focuses on KC and MS holding hands and laughing at nothing in particular. As they approach their neighboring cars, they stop at the front bumpers and stand, briefly, in a state of satisfied silence.

MS and KC both begin to slowly walk towards their car’s driver’s side.

KC

Thanks for coming out tonight I had a lot of fun.

MS

Thank for inviting me, I cannot remember the last time I’ve enjoyed myself that much.

KC

No problem, you made the entire evening that much better.

MS

We should do something like this again sometime.

KC

That’d be great, I’ll call you later this week.

MS

Ok…

(Pauses long enough for KC to begin getting into his car)

Are you sure?

KC

Sure about what?

MS

Sure that you’ll call me.

KC

(Laughing curiously while walking around the car to MS)

What do you mean?

MS

It’s just…

(Pauses briefly then begins to ramble very quickly while looking at her feet)

It’s just that guys have a tendency to say that they are going to call and then they don’t and then I spend an entire afternoon wondering what I did or didn’t do to keep them from calling and when I …

KC interrupts her rambling by placing his index finger under MS’s chin and slowly lifting her head up so their eyes meet.  When MS stops talking, KC leans in and kisses her passionately and tenderly.  As they pull away from the kiss, MS’s eyes are closed.  When MS opens them and attempts to say something, KC places his finger on her lips to signal ‘Ssshhh.’

KC

I’ll call you later this week.

KC turns around, gets into his car, and drives away.  MS is left still standing, stunned, but smiling from ear to ear.

FADE OUT

END SCENE