Exit stage left…

So after a good run (or romp if you will), the current “friends with benefits” relationship that I had with someone, has transitioned back to “friends with no benefits.”  We are still really great friends, and I do truly enjoy her company, but we both decided that we were devaluing sex by sleeping together while not actually dating.  Here is how the logic seemed to work for the both of us:

We both thought that if you liked someone’s company, and you also were sexually attracted to them, then that was all that was needed to have sex.  Now if you also loved the person deeply, well then, the sex was just that much better.  However, if there was no romantic side to it, we felt that you were not doing any harm by just screwing around and having fun.  After giving it a shot, we decided that this was not the case.  We both felt that, by having sex while not in a romantic relationship, we were devaluing the act of sex for the both of us.  It no longer seemed like this amazing personal thing that two people get the pleasure of sharing with one another.  Instead, it felt more like a past time that the two of us were doing while bored.  I, personally, can not see a difference between this kind of sex and masturbation.

This doesn’t mean that we will never have sex again.  I firmly believe that when two people have had sex they WILL find a way to do it again.  This does not mean that we will not remain really close and amazing friends.  What it does mean is that we both need to evaluate what sex means to us in the grand scheme of things.  In the end, what it means is something I have known for a very long time; we have to know ourselves…